Home for Christmas

I'm back in the UK for Christmas, Cold, Damp and Foggy, just how Christmas should be IMHO. Lots to do before the day, so I doubt I will be blogging much.

I also have got the results of my two OU exams, as well as the overall course results.

For M255 (Object Oriented Programming with Java) I got 88% in the exam, with my overall coursework mark of 99% gives me a Distinction.

For MT262 (Putting Computer Systems to Work) I got 95%, with my overall coursework mark of 97% also gives me a Distinction.

Oddly before I started the courses I would have said I knew Java better, but perhaps that was a hindrance considering that I achieved a much better score in the C++ exam (MT262) than the Java (M255). It's surely a testament to the OU teaching material anyway.

PHCN/NEPA Pre Payment Meters

PHCN have recently provided us with a new Meter for our power consumption. This meter is a pre-payment meter meaning we have to purchase credit from the PHCN offices and then enter the code given on the receipt into the meter to get power. A display on the front indicates the kWH remaining for your current credit.



Since installation there are many problems that make this new meter a complete nuisance

1. The Meter will only indicate what credit remains or allow you to enter more credit when there is power - When there's no credit the only way you can tell there is power is that a zero is shown on the LCD display


2. If you run out of credit you better hope it's not at night or on a Sunday, the office is closed!


3. Our consumption seems to be measured much higher on the new system. We will be using test equipment on ours soon to confirm it.


4. According to some sources we will be paying ₦50,000 for this meter in 24 monthly instalments - We did not ask for this meter, nor were we given a choice so why should we pay? - Also we paid for the old meter too so why were those removed from our premises without permission?


5. PHCN sent us a ₦7562.10 Power Bill for December after we had the pre-payment meter installed in November!

Bah! This is Shenanigans!

My First Trip: A Retrospective

I have now published all the diary entries from my first trip to Nigeria in 2000. Looking back through them for me has been an interesting experience, many events I had forgotten, and some of my thoughts surprised me. I only vaguely recognise the person that wrote those notes.

Obviously I had to edit a lot of the details, some things would only be understood by my friends and family in the UK, so I cut those bits out. I removed names of everyone except public people, such as the chap who ran Planet 44.

Things changed quite quickly after those early days, Money was restricted so that we no longer enjoyed late night partying catered for by the company, My pay was set at a level somewhat lower than I was expecting. The same with my per diem. Working with Canadians proved quite difficult with different time zones, having to wait until 9am in Calgary before we could contact anybody which would be 5pm in Lagos, just when we were thinking about going home.

In 2001 I contracted Malaria, just after visiting our Canadian offices at Easter, and suffered with it for over two weeks. This was despite taking the anti-malarial drugs as directed. At that time I hadn't heard of Artemisinin and did not question the doctor giving me quinine based drugs. The drugs certainly shifted the Malaria but gave me terrible itching of the utmost discomfort.

In the end, the project I came to Nigeria to work on failed in 2002. Not because we couldn't do the job, but because we lost a LOT of money in a Bank Fraud, only a small part of which was ever recovered. For 2003 I was working in the UK, until march 2004 when I was called back to Nigeria to work with another company, established by my British colleagues from the old Canadian company. I started work on the project that I am just finishing now. This project too has had it's financial problems but nothing on the scale of that first project.

Basically, to summarise, I think now I do understand life in Nigeria a bit more, I feel more like a resident than a visitor, despite my UK tax status which still says I'm a UK Resident. I enjoy the challenges of living here, Every day is different. The Nigerian people impress me with their ability to believe a dire situation will improve. Now, I believe it will improve, given enough time and people whose interests lie away from the goal of fantastic wealth.

There is wonderful beauty in Nigeria, if you can tolerate a whole heap of Ugliness that's in the way, you can find it.

My First Trip: Day Twenty Six

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Friday 15th December 2000

5:30 my alarm went off, it was dark outside. Thankfully the water was still working now and I could get my last shower and pack my wash bag into my suitcase. I had a knock on the door from M3... who wanted to check I was up. I went down for breakfast at 6. After breakfast I brought down my bags and J3... took them out to the car for me. D... told be to keep N1000 in case I had to bribe my way through customs and split whatever I had left over with M3... J3... and M4.... I had N1500 so that was lucky. So I thanked M3... and M4... for looking after me and handed them N500 each. they wished me a good Christmas and said they looked forward to seeing me in the new year. I got in the car with D... and we were off to the airport. It was getting lighter now and I recognised the roads I'd travelled nearly four weeks ago on my way in.

We got to the airport and were immediately hounded by people trying to carry my luggage (in exchange for a tip) but J3... shooed them away and handed my luggage to me and D.... I gave J3... his N500 and waved goodbye.

And so to check in, I had my suitcase checked, they wanted to know what I was carrying, I had two folding tables inside that D... wanted me to take back for him. They wanted me to prove that I wasn't stealing African art treasures. In the end they gave up, I think they worked out that there weren't many folding tables around in pre-colonial Nigeria. After that it was plain sailing to the cafe where I got a coke and then went to the boarding lounge. Before we boarded the plane we had to go out onto the tarmac to identify our suitcases before they put them on the plane. I don't know why they do this, but if you don't identify your luggage it stays in Nigeria. This happened to D... on his first trip.

While I was waiting to board I had a talk to another British traveller who was about my age, the first I'd seen. He was impressed at the number of bars I'd been to since I'd been there, he was also impressed that I'd stayed for nearly 4 weeks on my first trip. He'd only ever stayed two.

We boarded and I had a window seat near the very back of the plane in row 51. It was a better plane than the one that brought me here, it had individual TV screens for every passenger in the back of the seat in front. I could choose what to watch now. There's also a handy map channel that shows you where you are and other information like altitude, ground speed, outside air temperature (-59C over the Sahara, I had frost on my window) and Estimated arrival time.

There was a patch of bad turbulence on the way over the Sahara and we climbed to 39,000 feet or nearly 12 Km. There's not much to see when flying over the desert, I think I saw a herd of wildebeest but it just looked like a rippling black blob so it could have been something else.

Eventually I saw the white cliffs of Dover and there was only 60 miles left till Heathrow. It was darkening now and while we circled over London waiting for our turn to land it became night.

This side, customs was a breeze. I skipped past all the Nigerian immigrants and went straight in to the queue for EU passport holders. There was only 5 or six in the queue, a quick scan of my passport and I was welcomed home. I found a seat to use while I waited for my suitcase to come around, It eventually did and I was out of there.

I needed to change my Bus Ticket so that I could go from Heathrow instead of Gatwick like my Ticket indicates. I found the Coach Ticket shop and had my ticket changed, it cost me £1.50. I was told to look out for the 202 bus arriving at 18:10. It was only just 17:15 so I went wandering around the airport for a while. I bought some snacks to keep me going and then headed out to the bus shelter. It was very cold out here, I opened my suitcase to get my fleece out and put it on. It made things a little better but not much. I was missing Nigeria already.

I saw a bus come in around 18:15 numbered 201. It said it was going to Cardiff but since it wasn't the number I was told to get I assumed that it didn't stop in Newport. At 19:00 I decided that I'd better check with the ticket shop again because my bus hadn't shown up. They told me that the bus had been and gone at 18:15. The Cardiff Bus. I complained that it said 201 but they said it should have been 202 and there was nothing they could do. By the time I'd paid another £1.50 to get the next bus, it had arrived and gone, it was early this time. So I had to change it again and get the next one at 20:10. They let me have this one free though.

So eventually I got a bus and I was so cold I could hardly move. Luckily the bus was quite warm and I managed to sleep a little on the way. I hardly noticed a thing between Reading and Bristol.

I had arranged for mum to pick me up at 9:15, I finally arrived in Newport at 11:15 and had to phone her to get her to pick me up. Eventually she came and we sped home.

My First Trip: Day Twenty Five

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Thursday 14th December 2000

Today was my last day at the office and there wasn't a lot to do. D... had his press conference with 100 expected attendees with the Commissioner for Information. I had been invited to give some moral support but I had enough of meeting government officials in the first week I had here, and I didn't particularly want to be in the newspapers or on the TV.

This was also M1...'s last day here, he was leaving tonight, and we both went to the British Airways office on VI together so I could confirm my ticket for tomorrow morning and M1... could check in. D... had been unable to find his ticket after his recent move and wanted me to enquire about replacing a lost ticket.

In the afternoon D2... came around again with his laptop, and wanted me to go with him to his house to see If I could get him connected to the internet, he'd been unsuccessful so far, and had no trouble when he connected at the office. So J3... took us over at about 3pm and I was expecting somewhere pretty decent for a solicitor, but no. It was a huge, ugly block of flats. We couldn't get the car into the car park on the first try because there is a speed bump outside that would require a JEEP to get over. since the Lumina we were in is very low to the ground we didn't really want to risk getting hooked up. The other road around to the car park was almost as bad with potholes that should be called craters. Eventually we make it and I go with D2... to his flat. The heat in here was very bad, no NEPA and no AC anyway. I was taken to his office and sat down. I picked up the handset of the phone and immediately realised what the most likely cause of D2...'s problem was. The line was very noisy, like radio static and sometimes it took two or three tries just to get a dial-tone.

I tried hooking the laptop up and while it dialled it made some of the strangest noises I've ever heard. It got nowhere of course. Eventually I gave up, by this time I was sweating all over. D2... offered me a drink but since he's fasting for Ramadan I thought it polite not to take it.

So at around 5 I got back to the office, D... had come back and had now gone to the house, M1... had arranged to have dinner at 5 so that he could eat with us one last time before leaving that night. After dinner we saw him off and went inside to shower and change. D... had decided to move into M1...'s vacated room tonight so that he could be here to take me to the airport tomorrow morning.

So it was decided to have one last trip to Planet 44 - we did the Original Sins, B52s and the E... ice-cream thing.

So we went back to the house for sleep in preparation for an early 5:30am start and a goodbye to Nigeria and my good friends.

My First Trip: Day Twenty Four

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Wednesday 13th December 2000

Today was the Christmas party at the office. Since E... was leaving today and needed to pack, D... was called upon to conduct the award ceremony where those who have been with the company x amount of years get an award. We've been too busy to sort out anything special so the awards this time which were all for 5 years service were just a simple $100 bill. They seemed very happy with it though. for 10 years they get a big screen TV.

The staff all seemed to enjoy themselves, M4... and M3... had brought food from the house and served it out for us.

Cosmas turned up during the party to confirm that the delivery of computers would be on Friday, too late for me to supervise.

All the staff at our office in Akure, had come to Lagos to join our party. Last year D... and M1... were working in Akure where they butchered and barbecued a goat (not themselves obviously) to celebrate Christmas. No goat this year thankfully. Just Pork Chops, Chicken and Rice, there was free beer that had been brought from our house for everyone. E... likes to tell the tale of him working on the expenses sheet and having to type in, "one goat". He was wondering what sort of response would arise in Calgary but nobody noticed. Probably because it was so inexpensive. There seemed to be a bit of confusion with M4... and he didn't manage to get the food to the office until 2pm and we didn't start eating until 3 because they wanted to get the award ceremony out of the way first. We decided that having a final meal with E... at 5 would be stretching things a bit far so we cancelled our dinner with M4... and arranged to go out.

At about 4:30 I went back to the house to see E... go back to Calgary, about an hour later we had a phone-call to say he'd made it through customs and was now sitting in the bar in the departure lounge drinking a pint of becks.

At 9pm we went to planet 44 for a snack, we were all pretty full from lunch. I had an egg burger which was more of a meal really. E... had left a cheque for us to take to Ranni to pay our bills for the last few weeks. I looked over one of them and we had spent N20,000 (£120) in one night on drinks. No wonder Ranni is always pleased to see us.

My First Trip: Day Twenty Three

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Tuesday 12th December 2000

Aside from the fact that I had absolutely nothing to do there was only one thing interesting about today.

I GOT PAID!

I was handed £xxx to cover my travel and medical expenses and $yyy ($zz for every working day including travelling days)

I've never seen real $100 or $50 bills before and now I've got $xxx of each. When America finally makes up its mind to elect George W Bush as president they expect the dollar to get stronger for a while so I'll get more pounds that way. Woo Hoo, last time I checked it was 1.4547 $/£ which means I take home about £yyy. which isn't bad for 4 weeks work I think. I should have my rate increased when I come back so that should be even nicer.

D... was paid his as well, He's asked me to carry some of his money home for him, I'm a bit worried about customs searches but D... thinks it'll be OK

My First Trip: Day Twenty Two

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Monday 11th December 2000

This week is meant to be my busiest week according to D... but I'm still not sure exactly what he means. I've got to wait for the PC's to arrive and then all I'll be doing is setting them up unless that. I'll no doubt have plenty of help. The problem I think we're going to have is that D... wants to put PC's on every desk and some desks just won't take it, because they are already full with drawings and paperwork. It looks like they want me to install the network rather than get someone else to do it. I'll have to work out some measurements of my own before I leave so I can get the right amount of cable, for when I return in January, that is if I can get a new visa. The visa I have is valid for three months but only for one trip, so unless I stay here over Christmas I'll have to go to the Nigerian High Commission in London to explain. I have every intention of returning on Friday.

Things are so frustrating here, when I went to Hyperia last week I checked out when two of our accounts expired and they showed me the date on the system to be expiring in April 2001. Today, we get a message when dialling in that our passwords are not correct. We phone technical support at hyperia to discover that our accounts expired yesterday. I got one up on them though because I discovered I could dial in with the username and password of the account we created a few days ago for D2... and check the email accounts that were meant to have expired. Hah, email for free now.

You get such unbelievably bad service from them it's hard to imagine that they are the best available in Nigeria. It makes us want to set up our own ISP here that charges a lot less, provides a solid 24hr service with excellent connections speed and full net access on all accounts.

D2... came in complaining that the Laptop I'd set up for him wouldn't dial in so he could check his mail. I took it from him and tried it. It worked first time. I even tried it on an analogue line we have in the office just in case it was the fact that there is a digital exchange on this particular line that was making it work, but after a while the analogue line worked too. So I told him it was probably line noise at his house. It wasn't anything to do with me using his account earlier because he was trying it last night.

My First Trip: Day Twenty One

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Sunday 10th December 2000

Breakfast

I got up at 8:30 to go with D... for breakfast with D2..., but D... didn't show up until 9:30 which was too late for the breakfast outing. Never mind.

Sunday lunch on the beach

Afterwards we headed back to the house to change out of our sweat drenched clothes and get ready to go to the beach for lunch. By the time we got our food it was 4pm. Neither me or D... had eaten for 20 hours, longer than B2... that's for sure. Barbecued Chicken and Chips on the beach for Sunday lunch makes a change though. Especially in December.

B2... had been trying out the reconditioned Mazda truck we just bought by running it out to the beach we were at. It broke down about halfway to the beach so he had to get a taxi back to the house to get the Toyota Landcruiser to tow the Mazda back and then come to the beach in the Landcruiser. So he had a pretty tough time. A Nigerian woman with us ordered fish for lunch which made me feel a bit ill when I saw her eating the heads. M1... hadn't eaten his fish head so she ate that as well, all of it. Uurgh! I finished my chicken and all that was left was bone and gristle. A small boy called me from outside the beach house and pointed to the bones. So I handed them over and he proceeded to eat them by crunching straight through. I hope he didn't choke.

We weren't quite so pestered with beach vendors today, I didn't buy anything at all, I would have bought this nice Breitling watch (fake of course) but the guy wouldn't accept my price. So I told him to go away and think about it. He didn't come back. D... ordered his Bar that he's having made. It's solid mahogany with hand Carved elephants on the front. An amazing bargain at N45,000. He wanted to have a cheap shed built for a generator housing at the Apartment. That was going to be made of mahogany too. How much is a mahogany garden shed worth in the UK? It seems to be easiest wood to get here. There was some guy trying to sell me ivory statues, and another trying to sell me a sword. As if I'd even attempt to take those through customs.

I did see some interesting bracelets before, they were made of Cobra skin, and they felt and looked amazing. I wasn't too sure if I knew anybody that would appreciate them as much, so I didn't buy them. I think K1... bought some of them for her daughters while she was here.

The sun disappeared behind the smoggy skyline and we had 30 minutes or so to get home before dark.

For our evening meal we went to Planet 44 at about 9pm. D..., M1... and E... each had a steak after they saw the one I had last time. I had Beef Stroganoff because nobody had tried that yet. It was good, except it tasted a bit too much of cheese, which is strange because I'm sure Beef stroganoff is usually not at all cheesy.

They had rather irritating live music so we left quite quickly. and headed back to the house to watch the Matrix and then get some sleep.

Back From Abuja

Just a note to say I'm back in Lagos, after my short trip to Abuja.

I didn't get much chance to go out and see the city but what I saw made me wish to go back sooner rather than later. On my return to Lagos, I felt the tension rise in me as we hit traffic coming from the airport and we didn't leave traffic until we reached home on VI. I've decided on my next trip, when I feel I need a vacation I will spend a weekend in Abuja to chill out, perhaps not at the Le Meridien next time though.

Lagos needs to be dragged kicking and screaming into order but I have no idea where it should start. Have the Police and Other officials properly enforce traffic laws, especially for Public Transport, is probably as good a place as any.

I also recently went to a hospital in Lagos for the first time to visit a friend, that was quite an experience but I can't tell you about it. It made me realise I have to take more care over my travel insurance - Mine expires tomorrow!

My First Trip: Day Twenty

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Saturday 9th December 2000

Ugg 2

One Major Hangover I can tell you. (Sorry Mum) I couldn't move until about 11am and then I staggered downstairs for a coffee. I managed to eat some Pringles to keep me going till M3... made the sandwiches for lunch. M3... really impressed me when upon seeing my state offered me dry bread instead of the usual stack of stuff in a bun. M3...'s sandwiches are too good to refuse so I accepted the sandwich as it was, but I had to pace myself a bit.

I was too fragile to do anything useful today, not that anybody else was either. I sat around watching TV, worked on this diary for a bit until dinner. Giant Pork Chops, rice and tomato sauce. I had no idea you could get pigs this big, must have been as big as a cow.

In a brave attempt to heave myself back out into the world we went back to Planet 44 for a while but I wasn't really in the mood to drink.

I came in about 11:30 and went to bed. It had been quite a tough day.

My First Trip: Day Nineteen

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Friday 8th December 2000

One Week To Go!

Friday at last. In one weeks time I'll be on my way home for Christmas. I was first down for breakfast again, another helping of fresh fruit. D... turned up at the same time as M1... and E... came down. I let D... and E... head off to the office while I waited to go with M1... who was on the phone to Calgary.

First thing I went with J4... to Hyperias office to set up an account for email access. it cost 20,000 Naira and we paid in 50s so it took a while to count. They set up the new account and said it would be active at midday. For an internet company they had very few computers in their offices.

Worms 2

D2... the company solicitor is getting the new email account for the laptop I'm fixing for him. P...'s virus removal instructions arrived this morning and I cleaned out the nasty bits from each of the computers. The worm found its way to D... from this old laptop that's being given to D2... While I was testing it earlier this week I sent an email using the account already installed on the machine to D..., so that we could verify I had set it up correctly. I had no idea at the time but I had infected him with the virus. It cleverly adds itself to your email signature and using outlook express it's completely invisible, you wouldn't know you had it until your computer suddenly shuts down when you open an email.

D2... was coming around to have a meeting with D... and E... and he wanted to pick the laptop up. He came with us to the house for lunch and M3... had been told to prepare an extra plate. What had been forgotten was that D2... is currently fasting for Ramadan. Oops. Still he's invited me & D... out to breakfast on Sunday morning for fixing his laptop, so I don't think he's sticking to it very hard. Unless he means breakfast at 5:30 or something.

Dinner tonight was spagbol. Mmmmm.

Happy Birthday Ranni

As it was Friday night it is standard procedure to go out somewhere for the evening. We'd had an invite to Ranni's Birthday Party at planet 44 so We showed up and invented only 2 drinks this time. The cake was interesting because it was made of ice-cream and meringue. Ranni was forty today. Today was also the 20th anniversary of John Lennon's Murder.

My First Trip: Day Eighteen

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Thursday 8th December 2000

Morning M3...

M3...'s first breakfast was good. Instead of V...'s separate grapefruit and fruit salad dishes the two were mixed together. It was really tasty. E... was impressed because he didn't have to sugar his grapefruit.

There wasn't much to do today. I was waiting for D... to sort out the LPO so that I could take it to Cosmas, and that was it. So I twiddled my thumbs for a bit, and then went to the house for lunch. We had corned beef in the sandwiches today, and that was really good.

Worms

In the afternoon D... had an email from K3... to say that every email D... had sent to him today gave an error message that an unsafe ActiveX object was embedded in it that it would not use, and that it might not display properly. Sounds strange I thought.

So I investigated to try and find out what was happening and I discovered that every email D... had sent in the last couple of days had an attachment embedded inside that made all sorts of changes to your system. Realising that this was an email worm, I sent a few Details to P... So he could get from the internet the details I needed to clear it out manually and send them to me.

D... sent an email to everybody he'd written to over the last few days to warn them, and also making sure that if they hadn't got infected the first time they would now.

At 6 we hadn't left the office yet and the guy who's getting us our new office furniture brought round a chair to show us. It wasn't exactly what D... had asked for but it was very good quality. D... told him to bring around some tomorrow with higher backs.

Hot Hot Hot Soup

Dinner tonight was brilliant. It started with a spicy vegetable soup It tasted like he'd put half a bottle of Tabasco in it. I think it was a bit too hot for D... but I loved it. Following the soup was peppered steak and chips. Fantastic.

There weren't any good films on tonight so everybody went to bed. I was the last up at 10:30 and just as I was brushing my teeth the phone started ringing. I really couldn't be bothered to walk all the way to the phone and I figured it wouldn't be for me anyway and that whoever it was would figure out we've gone to bed with out me having to tell them.

My First Trip: Day Seventeen

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Wednesday 6th December 2000

Bye Bye V...

I came down for breakfast this morning at 7:15 and I was the first up. V... greeted me and asked me how I spelled my name. He thought it was spelled Haran for some reason, so I corrected him. Quite a few people who have asked my name have asked me if I'm Jewish, LOL, V... didn't though. Eventually the other guys turned up and they all looked worried, about how they day would turn out. I had made sure I'd be tucked out of the way when they gave this poor man the bad news.

So off we went to the office, my main mission today was to finalise the deal for the computers. This is fun, I've never been responsible for 2.6 million before even if it is only Naira. So I went off to Surulere where this company, Computer Warehouse, is based. I arrived and met Cosmas, our contact and told him we were ready to place the order, and after a little confusion over the delivery dates we were agreed. So we are about to leave and Cosmas asks me for my LPO. I had no idea what he meant. He showed me an example and it was an official company headed Purchase order form with all the details of the order enclosed. So we had to head back to the office and get that sorted. We needed to get some quotes for networking installation and I asked Cosmas before leaving if they could do it. He called this other guy to see me and we arranged for him to call at the office that afternoon to measure up.

Enter M3...

While all this was going on poor V... was getting booted out and the new guy M3... was preparing lunch for the first time. it was now nearly 1pm and I was going to miss this first meal. I had some cash so before going back to the office we went to Mr Biggs for food. I had Special Fried Rice and Chicken which cost me 180 Naira. about £1.06.

I got back to the office and D... came in just after me with a wrapped sandwich for me. M3... had made me food after all and they brought it for me to eat. it was good. Similar to V..'s with more red onions. Mmmmm.

What's an LPO anyway?

D... had a meeting with people that afternoon and locked himself away in E...s office. He left me to deal with getting this LPO sorted and showing the network guy around. To get the LPO L... told me I had to talk to M4... who had all the letterheads on her computer. She wasn't around and nobody knew where she was. So I had to go and explain this to Cosmas. He told me he could start the order process if the quotation was signed and dated with a note to say that the offer was accepted. I had to interrupt the meeting to get D... to sign the quotation. Then the Networking guy needed taking around to measure each of the rooms and be told where we would like the workstations to have access points. So that was my job and I was just making wild guesses about some of the locations, but I think I got most of it right. The guy seemed happy enough with my description and seemed capable enough himself. I knew he'd asked me the right questions to get the job done properly.

Fish

With all that out of the way it was time to get some dinner. M3...'s first dinner. Well, it was battered fish, so I wasn't too impressed but all the other guys thought it was great and had extra helpings of it. I just had the one piece of fish and a pile of rice. there was plenty of dressings available to hide the fish with so I managed OK.

This was also the first time I had met M3..., and we weren't properly introduced. I think M2... has told him all he might need to know about us, he seemed familiar with the fridges and locations of bottle openers and things so I think he'll be OK.

There was a film on the TV called Go! which entertained me for a while until I got fed up with the British guy in it. The Matrix is on this channel on Sunday and E... and M1... have never seen it so I hope we are around to watch it.

My First Trip: Day Sixteen

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Tuesday 5th December 2000

Bad news for V...

There's a bit of a lull in the air this morning. Since K1... and J2... left there's been peace and quiet (except for the generator and AC) and it's been great. Also a difficult decision had been made. V... our cook was to be fired because of differences he was having with all the other staff. Now this seemed a bit stupid to me, Firing probably one of the best cooks in Nigeria, but D... pointed out his lack of control where alcohol and women were involved and that he causes so much trouble for the rest of the staff living in the compound. He also mentioned the suspicions he has that he's been stealing various bits and pieces from the house, like table lamps, video recorders and food. So I can see the point.

The thing about firing a cook is that you don't want to eat a meal from him after you fire him, because you might regret it. Things have to be done quickly and this is what I had difficulty with. He was to have no warning, tomorrow morning after our breakfast he'd be invited into E...'s office and given the bad news. A driver would be sent to help him move his stuff out of the house and take him wherever he wanted to go. Since he lives in the grounds of the house, he'd need to find somewhere to live which is why he'd be fired early in the morning so he had a chance to find a bed for the night.

It still feels like, the rich white man wins again, so I'm a bit upset. I think we all are. He obviously has problems outside work that are affecting him. That's probably why he's always drunk at lunchtime, If those problems were known to us something might have been done a long time ago to solve it.

D... has already found a replacement called M3... which is a bit harder to pronounce than V.... M3... would come in tomorrow lunchtime to prepare lunch and be the resident cook from then on.

Moving L...

So that's what was hanging over all of our heads today. E... had asked me to help L..., his assistant move to the desk near the safe. Which is by D...'s desk where I usually sit. Thinking about it for a while I asked if it would be easier just to move the safe. And nobody could think of a reason why not so we gave it a go. First I tried but it would just not move at all. It was firmly stuck in place. We called the Driver, C... to come and have a go. C... is a BIG man that would scare off the odd armed robber by just stepping out of the car, but he couldn't shift it either. While C... was struggling away N... came in with Coffee and told us that when the safe was installed they dug a deep hole and filled it with concrete and there was part of the safe going deep down into that concrete. So effectively it was bolted to the floor. How stupid are we?

I don't know if I've mentioned the power system here but if you can imagine every type of plug, every type of socket and every type of voltage being mixed together randomly, you might get an idea. Some sockets are labelled 110V some 220V and some not at all. I took great care when moving L...'s PC making sure I had the right adaptors for the plugs, and the right voltage eventually I got it working after only giving one 110V surge protector the biggest and last surge of it's short life. Bang. Smoke. Bad Smell.

So we took our last lunch with V... and came back to the office. I was sent out with J4... Our CAD office man, to Hyperia's Tech support office to see if we could get a new account set up for D2... the company Solicitor, and to see about a few other things. It costs N20,000 a year for just email access. that's £140. I think we could set up a shared internet dialup account. for 85,000 and all use hotmail or something. Might suggest that when we have the network installed.
Yawn

I did pretty much nothing for the rest of the day and went back for our last dinner with V.... E... opened a bottle of wine. We had chicken and potatoes. it was yummy.

There was talk of going out but everyone was too tired again. so off to bed.

My First Trip: Day Fifteen

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Monday 4th December 2000

Not a particularly interesting day

Well everyone was tired today, everybody except me was either ill or in pain so I found that quite amusing in my own sadistic way. J3... sorted D...'s temperature out with some "magic potion" Which turned out to be Andrews Liver Salts. It did the trick though I think because he seemed much better within half an hour of taking them.

My Job today was to produce an evaluation document for all the quotations I'd been getting for the 15 PC's and say why I think the Dells offered the best value. I even managed to throw in some excel sheets that showed it all mathematically too.

J2... and K1... left the office around 3 to prepare to leave for the airport. This was the last I saw of them. Before they left we had another group photo session outside.

Dinner was a chicken wing salad followed this spicy beef pasta thing. It was pretty tasty

Everybody being tired meant that the house was asleep by about 9pm, So I sat around watching the telly which was boring, and then wandered up to bed myself.

Abuja Photos

I've posted a handful of my Abuja photographs to flickr, but haven't had chance to update any captions or organise them into sets at the time of posting this.

Here's a couple to check out.

Abuja

I'm in Abuja for a few days, My first time!

Looking around I am very impressed at the way things are working here, and I wonder what it is about Lagos that makes it so much more oppressive.

The roads are moving freely, buildings are spaced apart nicely with some very nice architecture around the place too. The weather is hot and dry in the day but quite cool at night as I experienced from my balcony in my hotel room. Cars and buses don't park on main roads blocking up the whole system, and everyone seems more relaxed.

Having said that, an Oyibo took me out last night to see some of the city and as he was backing his car out of the hotel car park he smashed straight into another parked car. Nobody saw us, and there was no apparent damage (bumper to bumper) so we went away quickly ;-)

I've just managed to get on-line at my hotel, I did get on-line yesterday but the connection was very poor. My problem is I need two power sockets, one for my laptop and one for my wireless bridge which I need because none of the wireless cards I have work well with linux.

Will post some pictures if I get online again with my camera to hand. If not when I get back to Lagos.

My First Trip: Day Fourteen

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Sunday 3rd December 2000

Lagos

Me, D... and M... decided to go to the beach. Some of the stuff the beach vendors carry around is so nice, I really want it, but getting a 3 foot solid teak giraffe that weighs 20 kilos home, could be a challenge. Plus I have a feeling that a Giraffe would look a bit out of place in the UK. It looks great here though.

Dining out

Eventually we got back to the house to take the others out for dinner at a place called Santa Fe, It's a Tex-Mex restaurant with plenty of choice. We sat round a large round table and enjoyed a good meal. J2... and K1... are leaving tomorrow evening for a 17 hour journey back to Calgary so this was their last night. D... was feeling under the weather with a bit of a temperature so he didn't really enjoy himself.

Well we were all really tired now and needed another good nights sleep.

And so completes my second week in Lagos

The Last(?) Bob's Bar Bash

Last night Bob Ackerman, Bob of Bob's Bar, hosted the last outdoor music party at his venue. As I've mentioned before, the NAPEX compound has been purchased from the Nigerian Army/Federal Government and the new owner wishes all the current tenants to vacate. According to Bob last night, they now have until January 31st 2007, but he still said that this would be the last party. I've heard rumours elsewhere that some tenants have been given until the end of March.

Bob hinted that there's a plan to reopen in a new venue in the future, but did not make any commitments. Certainly Lagos night life for many expat's will be a different experience after it's gone.

As this was the last time, I took along my camera and took a few shots. It's night time so much of them are quite dark but you should be able to make them out. Click on the photo or the link above to see the set of photos.

My First Trip: Day Thirteen

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Saturday 2nd December 2000

Saturday Again!

Woo Hoo, Lazy Saturday, I got up about 8:30 and nobody else was around at all so I got a cup of coffee and read a book in the lounge for a while. There wasn't really a need to bring many books they have an area upstairs in what might be considered a landing, where there is a sofa and armchairs and loads and loads of books and magazines stacked on shelves.

Eventually J2... showed up and I grabbed a bowl of fruit and chatted to her about some work things. D... turned up at about 11am after he's been to a tenants meeting for his apartment block. nobody had turned up he said. D... and E... were to go to a Press Conference about the Lagos State project. They got lunch at a really good Chinese restaurant. Meanwhile I went shopping to get some supplies for the house. K1... & J2... came along and J3... came along to make sure we bought the right stuff. The ladies also needed to go to a pharmacy to get some pills for a case of Nigerian Tummy. (nothings affected me yet - I feel as good as ever)

Shopping again

Shopping was fun, we needed two trolleys one for food and one for the three boxes of water we need. We've got a corporate account here too so no fiddly cash has to be handed out. M... turned up from his meeting with Chevron the big oil company here and helped us out with a few of the obscure items we couldn't find, like a potato masher and bicarbonate of soda. V... had prepared the list so the handwriting was a bit hard to interpret.

A nasty beach

After shopping we hit the beach, this was definitely the worst one so far, although its not far from the house. K1... dragged me down to the sea, and the waves were huge. K1... said that the waves she saw in Hawaii were just the same. Looking around we could see something that looked like a crucifix sticking out of the water further down, we weren't sure if it was a mast from a ship or even a diving platform so we wandered down the sand to take a look. It took us about an hour to get close enough to make out that it was a sunken ship, and a big one, possibly a freight liner. It had probably run aground or sunk at sea and washed in. We saw some pretty awful things walking down that beach. (DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS PARAGRAPH UNLESS YOU REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT TO KNOW.) First there was a woman defecating right next to us, then we saw a dead goat floating around just on the shoreline (LAST CHANCE NOW!!)and to top it off on our way back we noticed a rotting human corpse with a picked clean grinning skull just staring at us with its empty eye sockets. At first I thought it was a man asleep, something that is not an uncommon sight, but then I realised he looked pretty thin, and then I noticed his head had no flesh on it. He was definitely dead - for how long though? I understand that after 2 or 3 days a body puffs up bursting the seams of clothing with all the gases from the fermentation going on inside, eventually this comes out and the body dries out and things start wasting away. There wasn't much left on this guy, but that could be because of crabs and birds I suppose. As the locals say on such occasions, "Welcome to Nigeria", I can imagine a postcard with the picture of this body on it with text in large friendly letters saying that. On the back I'd write "Wish You Were Here - Instead Of Me". (NB. I knew you'd read it but I bet you wish you hadn't)

The Welsh Beach Embassy

This is the beach with the bar that D... calls The Welsh Beach Embassy on it. It's really just a bar with well priced beer, that D... likes and one day they gave him a baseball cap for being a good customer. In return he brought them a Welsh flag to draw in the Ex Pats. It works too, except now six months on the flag is looking a little the worse for wear. But its a strange sight I can tell you. I'll try and get a photo, but I don't really want to go back to that beach too soon.

We had dinner at the house with pork chops, something about picking the meat off the bone seemed wrong to me today, so I didn't eat much of it. There was plenty of chips and beans though.

Afterwards we went to Planet 44 for drinks - I really needed them - we got some food from the appetisers menu, just a sample of everything. I don't see much of a niche for a Lebanese restaurant in the UK, but it was pretty good, nice food and very different.

Back home now though, we were planning to get to the meeting in Lagos in the morning and it was now gone midnight.

My First Trip: Day Twelve

Disclaimer: This is an edited version of my diary from December 2000. Some information contained may be incorrect, and opinions I expressed then are not the opinions of Aaron Rowe in 2006. I have posted it purely for the Novelty value.

Friday 1st December 2000

December in the Sun

I want my advent calendar! I found a few bars of Toblerone in the fridge this morning so I got a chocolate fix. This was the first piece of chocolate I'd had since the Crunchie I had on the plane. Wow it was good. I've seen some unfamiliar Cadbury products on the shelves at Park 'n' Shop. Something called Tom Tom which is like a menthol éclair according to what I'm told. I'd like to try that just to figure out what on earth it would taste like. There is an advertisement here that celebrates the 30th anniversary of Tom Toms so they are pretty well established here.

J2... had pointed out a couple of problems with my printouts yesterday so I printed some more out. It wasn't my fault. The paper had skewed in the printer so that it didn't look straight. A couple more people turned up today and had nothing to do so they went to J2...'s training session. They needed a certificate for the PowerPoint session they were taking.

Having fun at work

Fridays at the office are the days that most of the staff dress up in traditional African clothing. So to cause a few giggles we decided to go to work in Traditional African clothing too. I hoped we wouldn't be offending anyone. I only had the shirt, which I borrowed from D..., but E..., D..., J2... and K1... each had the full costume without the hats, which seem to only fit black people. M... didn't have his outfit with him so he was the only white person not dressed up. I took my camera to get some pictures of us all. All of the Nigerian staff were very impressed, and thought we'd done something really good. I... the receptionist wanted to know what the celebration was. We just said, "It's Friday."

For most of the day I was sitting around waiting for printouts. We were expecting some quotes for PC's to arrive but nothing had happened. C... from the people offering Dell computers came round to see me again, to find out why we hadn't bought his computers yet. he tells me they require a 75% deposit at the time of the order. I think we'll have to give Dell UK a call to check them out first.

Group Photos

The AC was being serviced at the office in the afternoon, so we went outside for a bit, where there's a slight breeze. We took some group photos of everyone in the office, there were a surprising amount of people. I hope to be able to name every face on the photographs by the time I leave. You might catch a glimpse of me in my African shirt thing too, but I was careful to hide near the back.

At the end of the day, E... was calling everybody into his office to let them know about their pay rise. Everybody came out smiling and very happy. Just wait till they see their bonuses next year if this project takes off.

D... thinks we now have one of the highest paid security guard in Nigeria working for us, and he gets more than the president of Nigeria's Bodyguards get. He was on 12,000 (£70) a month before the pay rise, but with the pay rise and moving to hourly rather than daily rates, (he puts in 80 hour weeks) he's moving up to 40,000 (£230). He got a small promotion because he is one of the few guards that can read and write and he helps the non literate guards fill in their time sheets. All of our guards have a similar amount given them so they are all pretty happy to work for us right now. Obviously, These guys are worth far more than that, but if we paid them what they deserve I think they'd all retire. I'm told the average wage for a security guard here is just 4,000 a month (£23).

Fish - Yuck

That evening it was fish for dinner, yeuch. It was sole with a lemon sauce. If I liked fish I'm sure it would have been great food, but I don't so it was puke. The fish they sell in the fish & chips restaurants here have teeth, Snapper I think its called. Also there's croker or something but I'm not that interested.

Tonight was the grand opening of the dance night-club at Planet 44 and we had an invite from the owner, and since he went to all the trouble of getting us that boat ride we thought we'd better not be too rude. So we went in and had our usual round of Original sins, I couldn't decide what to drink next so E... got me a B52 Bomber (tia maria, baileys and cointreau) while I was thinking. I taught them how to make a brain haemorrhage, although it didn't turn out right, too much grenadine and too narrow a glass. E... calls them Abortions.

Winamp - It really whips the llamas...

Interestingly the DJ at this bar was using winamp, he just had a bunch of playlists running and spent the rest of the time pretending he was doing something with a mixing desk.

Ranni, the owner of Planet 44, is getting a new till that will let you program new cocktails into it so that he can keep track of the booze that is being used. He says he'll let us put our own cocktail recipes in it so we can get whatever we want. This is so cool.

Anyway, lazy day tomorrow so no need to get up early but I was very tired and needed a sleep. so I toddled off home to bed.