HP6

I finished Harry Potter 6 today. Just too easy to read. I gave myself a strict limit of 100 pages per day and managed to keep it up till this morning when I decided I wanted to finish it.

Overall, I'd say it was worth the wait. I can't complain that it was too easy to read, because it is supposed to be a kids book, but I found it a bit too formulaic. A tell tale sign of this I felt was that nearly every chapter was 23-25 pages long. Very handy for reading approx 100 pages a day!

All the old plot devices were there, Quidditch , Something happens at Christmas, Nightime outings with the invisibility cloak, A New teacher has a secret to be discovered, Hagrid gets upset, Hermione gets cross, Malfoy is utterly vile and Repugnant, Harry gets detention with Snape, etc, etc.

I hate to say it but it's almost as if JKR took the end of order of the phoenix. Wrote a very dramatic ending and then filled the rest with fluff. But yet, somehow readable fluff.

There is some new stuff in it, it's just very, very familiar.

Rather than bore you with more of my poor book review I'll leave you with this.

Dumbledore's death in the style of Spike Milligan

Friday July 15, 2005

Once, twice and thrice upon a time, there was a wizard named Harry Potter!

He had broken glasses, which were held together by a very tiny wee little man whose arms are getting tired!

"My arms are getting tired!" the very tiny wee little man would complain, but Harry Potter would say "Shuttius upus!" and cast a zip-mouth spell to get peace to do his homework!

Well, one day, Harry Potter was in the Hospital Wing with a very nasty casy of Hogwarts! And Madame Pomfrey was rubbing smelly stuff on his bits and pieces so they wouldn't fall off! "Pee-ew!" sayd Harry, holding his nose, which came off.

MEANWHILE! On the quidditch pitch, Ron Weasely was having an argument with Draco Malfoy, who was very bad and nasty and smelled of wee.

Fortunately! Ron Weasely was armed to the teeth! Ever seen teeth with arms? Not a pretty sight!

He had in his hand something that looked like a very big wand, because it was, and yelled "Grouchio Marxius!", a big green snotter flew out his wand, NYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRKERSPLAT!, and made Draco's eyes turned into silly spects with a false nose and moustache attached!

Draco let out a roar of Defiance! "Defiant roar!" he roared (defiantly!), pointing his pointy nose at Ron because his wand was broke (which wasn't so bad because wands don't need money anyway).

Just then Severus Snape came up looking very cross, in fact even his eyes were crossed to prove it! "Oh no," said the arms on Ron's teeth, "He's going to sever us"(JOKE)"What is the meaning of this?" said Snape. "Nobody knows," said the author.

Then came Dumbledore looking all perturbled. "Whatever is the matter?" said Snape. "You're looking all perturbled!"

"He's coming" said Perturbledore.

"Who is?" said Ron. "You-Know-Who!" said Dumbledore, "No I don't," said Ron, "That's why I asked!"

Just then You-Know-Who swooped down on a very big broomstick, "Swoop!" he went, he was wearing a false Hitler moustache to make himself look really evil.

"Where's Potter when you need him?" Snape asked reluctantly, but reluctantly didn't know.

"In the Hospital Wing with the Hogwarts," said Dumbledore. "Sticking his wand where he shouldn't, I expect."

Suddenly! Lord Voldemort produced his wand and pointed it at Dumbledore!

"Expelliarmus!" cried Dumbledore, and the wand went WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE out of sight.

Suddenly! Lord Voldemort produced a rubber chicken and pointed it at Dumbledore.

"Expellichickenus!" cried Dumbledore, and the chicken went WHEEEEEEEEEEE out of sight.

Suddenly! Lord Voldemort unzipped his fly!

"Expelliwillius!" cried Dumbledore, and you don't want to know what went WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE out of sight!

With the Dark Lord weakened and weekdayed, Dumbeldore cut his head off with one mighty FLICK! of his whiplike beard!

HOOOORAY! VOLDEMORT IS DEFEATED!

Unfortunately, this victory like all victories came at a price! For whilst doing a celebration dance, Dumbledore tripped over his own beard and his brains fell out his nostrils!

So they all lived happily ever after with two notable exceptions.

Alastair McIver